Life in the Mind of a Modest Genius

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Orphan

This joint sat in my Netflix queue for days and days and days.  Everytime it came time for my next shipment, I had to keep seeing the words "Very Long Wait" next to it and it never got sent.  Was it really that good that it was in such high demand?  That just made me want to see "Orphan" even more.  Especially after also noticing that not a single Redbox ever had it in stock.  I had to secure other means to make sure that I would see it before 2009 comes to a close.

In "Orphan", Kate (Vera Farmiga) and John (Peter Sarsgaard) have been devastated by the tragic loss of their unborn child.  In an effort to regain some semblance of normalcy, the couple decides to adopt another child.  They found themselves drawn to a young girl named Esther (Isabelle Fuhrman) whose maturity and affability sets her apart from the rest of the children.  However, after welcoming Esther into their home, a strange series of events begin to unfold which leads Kate to believe that Esther may not be all that she appears to be.

The whole concept of adopting when a couple already has children is something that has always baffled me.  Especially if they already have a boy and a girl.  Some folks can't have a child at all.  For couples that have two, they should consider themselves grateful and stop being greedy.  Maybe that's what the implied moral of "Orphan" was.  They deserved what happened to them because they didn't appreciate what they already had.  It may be a reach on my part, but what else is new?

The trailers for this one initially turned me off because the movie that came to mind right away was "The Good Son" with Macaulay Culkin.  I just figured "Orphan" would be a similar movie with a little girl being the evil one instead of a boy.  Not that "The Good Son" was a terrible movie.  It was certainly obvious that Culkin did it to shake his wholesome boy image.  That in itself was rather amusing because he was a little young to be worrying about being typecast.  Still, "Orphan" did not entirely follow the formula of that murderous child format thanks to an awkward twist-ending.

They do provide a nice disturbing intro to grab the attention of us horror movie junkies right away.  What it also does is establishes an early tone for the Kate character and her state of mind.  It puts an early doubt with the viewer.  Was she so traumatized by the loss of her child that she has bouts of delusion that may create some episodes we see involving Esther or are they actually occurring?

A major plot hole that I struggled with was the couple's visit and subsequent adoption of Esther.  When they go to orphanage, it seems as though they are given free reign to roam the place at will.  I've never been to an orphanage before, but that just doesn't seem proper.  Then when they get her, she goes home with them that same day?  Shouldn't they have done a trial run?  Have her visit with the other siblings first to see how she would do in that environment?  Maybe if they had done that, they wouldn't have had so many deaths to worry about.  Then again, we wouldn't have the movie.

One of the biggest problems I had with the storyline was how Kate and John interacted with and reacted with Esther.  Kate could sense there was something disturbingly wrong with Esther, yet she couldn't sense when something was bothering her own children that have been with her all their life?  Same goes for John.  Except he was a worse offender.  When Kate eventually caught on, he was still not suspicious of Esther even AFTER the nun (CCH Pounder) from the orphanage gave them plenty of proof that Esther had issues. 

As a horror film, "Orphan" had entirely too many moments where they tried to cash in on some cheap scares.  Like the old mirror partially open trick then someone pops up in it when it's closed.  Really?  Could you be any more predictable?  It's too bad they felt the need to go that route because they did a decent enough job in building the suspense throughout the film. 

I will give them props for pacing "Orphan" very well for a thriller.  It doesn't seem like it was 2-hours because there are very few wasted moments anywhere in the movie.  They also capitalize on one of my favorite type of movie villains: the creepy kid.  Psychopathic serial killing maniacs are good for the slasher flicks, but creepy looking kids with issues will trump them everytime.  Comparatively speaking, this one isn't too bad as a thriller.  Just not near the classic I was expecting with the "Very long wait" message constantly staring me in the face.


My rating:  C+

 

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Thursday Throwback

Juicy Fruit - Mtume

Par for the Course

All day long I have been inundated with the endless tweets about Tiger and his current situation.  Then there was the e-mails being passed around about their new Christmas card.  Not to mention countless other jokes that have surfaced.  His whole reckless driving and reckless straying to match have been played to death which is why I wasn't' going to say anything.  But then I started thinking about some things about th3 whole episode that just didn't sit right with me and I felt compelled to speak on it.

Well all know by now that Tiger cheated.  First and foremost, does it come as a big surprise to anyone?  This is one of the most famous professional athletes in the world.  He has more than endorsement deals thrown his way on a constant basis.  He is only human.  A human man. Not to say that it's not impossible to resist the urges, but we all know that athletes are renown for wandering.  Tiger's not exempt just because he is who he is.

The thing I don't get it is when you have that much money, you have the resources to be more discreet about your indiscretions.  Like the whole cell phone thing that got him into trouble.  He should have two cell phones:  one that the wife knows about and one that is for the jumpoffs.  You don't EVER give your real number to the jumpoffs.  Because there's always that slight chance that the wife will search your phone and want to know who those strange numbers belong to. 

That brings me to my next point:  the infamous call.  In case you haven't heard, there's audio circulating around of a voicemail message Tiger left one of the other women.  He's telling her to remove her name from the voicemail because his wife found the number on his phone.  WHY ARE YOU LEAVING A MESSAGE??  He should know that the chick would potentially keep it to use for later.  You're not supposed to leave a trail, Tiger!  Especially if he's not breaking her off some ends which it appears that he clearly wasn't.  For Tiger to be so intelligent, he sure didn't have much common sense.

My favorite part about the whole mess is how Tiger puts out a statement where he is essentially requesting privacy.  Sorry, dude, but you know it's not that simple.  When you're one of the most recognizable celebrities in the world, you don't have that luxury.  Maybe if you would have been more cordial with the media, this thing would not have been such a big deal and could have just blown over.  You think you would have learned that from hanging out with Michael Jordan all the time.  Now you're just going to have to suck it up and ride this rocky wave out.

Don't get it twisted thinking that I am taking sides on this one.  There's no Team Tiger and definitely no Team Elin for me.  She needs to recognize that she is where she is because she got a come up.  She used to be a nanny.  She knew what she was getting into and knows what comes with the territory.  If she was smart, she'd take a lesson from how Kobe's gold-digging wife handled a similar situation and keep on steppin'. 

Employee of the Month

Do they even have these titles in the corporate world?  I know some places will have Salesperson of the Month but I've never worked anywhere where there's an Employee of the Month.  It's always been something I associated with fast food joints or a comedy.  Sometimes one in the same.  In this case it is comedy but the setting is a bank instead of a restaurant.  I had a preconceived notion of where this one could head, but I wanted to see how they would get there and what they would do with it.

This "Employee of the Month" tells the story of David Wells (Matt Dillon) who gets his life straightened out with a job he loves at a bank and a beautiful fiancée (Christina Applegate).  He's confident he's got it made as the day for his big review comes up.  Unfortunately, things take a turn for the worse when he is dumped and fired in the same day.  David finds himself desperate to get back on the right track by any means possible.  That eventually leads to things getting more and more out of control.

The fact that David even considered him an employee of the month candidate was a joke to begin with.  It was clear that he had the butt-kissing part down (which we all know is a crucial element to winning those type of awards); however, he didn't have that air of competency about him.  Therefore, it really shouldn't have come as a surprise that he wasn't in the running.  The firing, on the other hand, did seem a bit extreme.  Which brings me to the biggest issue I had with this movie.

I'm not even going to lie...I've been fired before.  Not only do I know the feeling, I know the process.  Especially in a professional setting.  There is NO way a place is going to fire you and let you finish out that day.  Let alone allow you to come back and work the following day.  If you're laid off, perhaps.  If you resign...maybe.  But if they come out and fire you, your butt will be off the premises very shortly after that "meeting".

It's important to note that this a comedy.  More specifically a "dark" comedy.  Therefore, you have to accept some liberties that would normally be illogical.  Such as the fact that David is allowed to return to work after being fired.  "Employee of the Month" relies heavily on that because it turns out being essential to the evolution of the film.  In any other instance or in another type of movie, it would be entirely unacceptable.  Here, they get a slight pass.

Steve Zahn is fantastic as David's best friend Jack.  The reason being that this was one of Zahn's best roles in quite a while.  He was a natural as a the crude con-man who makes his living posing as a coroner and robbing corpses.  Zahn was effortlessly popping off creative insults at the drop of a dime.  It's just the sarcastic persona that is his forte and it produced some of the best one-liners in this flick.

You have to be careful if you're looking for this title because you could accidentally come across the inferior 2007 version of "Employee of the Month".  That one was undoubtedly intended to be a mindless comedy.  This one was written with more intelligence and invokes some interesting twists at the end to make it an amazing little find.


My rating:  A -  

 

Blood and Bone

My cousin Brandon had read my "Black Dynamite" review and mentioned another movie starring Michael Jai White that he thought I might like.  If I had come across "Blood and Bone" on my own, I wouldn't have even given it a second glance.  Even in spite of the fact it starred White.  It doesn't look any different than most of the other straight-to-dvd movies you hear about.  Nevertheless, Brandon was confident I would like it so it was added to the Netflix queue and moved to the top.

Bone (White) is a recently released convict who is a bit of a mysterious drifter once he's on the outside.  He gets wrapped up in the seedy world of underground street fighting in the back alleys of Los Angeles.  In no time at all, he finds himself rising up the ranks of being the best fighter on the street, enabling him to get closer to paying back a debt he promised a friend on the inside.

This one got off to a great start with a fight scene involving Kimbo Slice in a cameo.  What was best about that is it wasn't much of a fight on Kimbo's part.  Bone destroyed him and the other would-be attackers in a blatant display of White's abilities.  A rather interesting parallel since Kimbo himself has made a name for himself as a street fighter but has gotten owned ever since trying to go pro as a MMA fighter.

I thought for a minute that they weren't going to capitalize on the momentum that the intro produced.  There was a bit of a lull as the story is set up for Bone to meet the characters that would get him involved with the street fighting game.  However, the dry spell didn't last long and the action picked up again quickly.  There could not have been better scenes to accentuate White in prime fighting form.  You watch him for just a few minutes and it's evident that he needs to be in more action films.  Period.

Once again Eammon Walker shows up as a cat who has the intimidation factor down cold.  His effective use of it in "Cadillac Records" made him one of my favorite characters in that film.  Now here he is again playing James, a mid-level crimelord.  Walker convincingly portrays a villain that has the henchmen necessary to do his dirty work but will do it himself in a minute if the desire overcomes him.

I was particularly fond of how they didn't show all their cards up front in "Blood and Bone".  Usually with these type of redemption films, we see early on what the person's motive for revenge is and who will be their biggest opponent in the movie's climatic fight scene.  I was so hoping that it really wasn't the hulking Bob Sapp since they built him up early as a major player.  Fortunately , it wasn't.  Bone's toughest opponent isn't revealed until nearly mid-way thru the film and their fighting sequence near the end doesn't disappoint.

"Blood and Bone" featured some of the best fighting scenes I have seen in a LONG time.  Whoever choreographed those needs to be hired for more work asap.  It certainly does help that White makes it all look so easy.  The guy is 42-years-old and has the agility as well as build of someone half his age.  There were a couple of moments that looked a little ridiculous but for the most part, the action in this flick was unparalleled.

"Blood and Bone" was a much better movie than I would have ever thought.  I would have missed out on it if it wasn't for my cousin.   It just took one movie for Brandon to prove that he knows what he's talking about.  Or at the very least, he knows what would be appealing to me.  The next time he recommends a movie, I won't even think twice about taking him up on the suggestion.


My rating:  A  

Must See DVD - "Planes, Trains & Automobiles"

I meant to have this one be last week's selection when it would have been more appropriate.  The timing would have been perfect.  It would have coincided with the Thanksgiving holiday just as that movie was intended to do.  Then again, I just recently did my own Thanksgiving post late, so it's okay if this Vault Pick follows suit.  We're still within a week of the day.  Close enough.

What had me thinking about "Planes, Trains & Automobiles" was I was trying my best to recall any movie that was associated with Thanksgiving.  The only one that quickly came to mind was the timeless Peanuts special "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving", but that was clear from 1973.  Was that really the only movie out there with a Thanksgiving premise besides this week's highlight? Well they were the only two that came to my mind.

I had almost forgotten that this was another John Hughes classic.  Even though I had mentioned it in my own tribute post to him, but given my memory, that's not saying anything.  This film is yet another testament to how great he was in his prime.  He could do more than just make the teenage angst film.  He could also make a great buddy comedy flick that is geared to the adult audience.

Hughes picked two of the best in the business to star in this one.  Especially another great talent who is no longer with us: John Candy.  Candy was no stranger to working with Hughes as he had been in other films directed by Hughes as well.  They were decent, but they were nothing compared to Candy's work here.  As Del Griffith, he plays that one fellow who will talk your ear off to the point where he can be annoying but he really means well.  We would later find out that the reason he was like that was because he was masking his own pain of having to live alone.  Candy does an excellent job of making Del so likable that you too want to open up your home to him for Thanksgiving dinner.

Then there is Martin who provides yet another airtight performance.  The brilliance of Martin's comedy is he can tailor it to whatever the role calls for with the greatest of ease.  His Neal Page character is a subdued businessman whose only goal is to get home for the holidays to be with his family.  He runs into every obstacle possible to prevent that from happening.  Martin plays the part as the effervescent straight man where the reactions to his frustrations produce some of the funniest moments.  Especially the classic scene with him at the rental counter in the airport.

Martin and Candy together would appear on the surface to be a very unlikely pairing for "Planes, Trains and Automobiles".  However, the genius of Hughes was he knew that and he also knew how to make that work.  What we end up getting is almost a modern update of a Laurel and Hardy duo.  Martin and Candy play very well off one another in every difficult situation they are presented with.  Their talent combined with Hughes' masterful script makes this flick one of the best holiday movies ever.

Gave Thanks

This is only about five days late.  For really no good reason either.  If I applied myself, I probably could have churned this one out sometime over this past weekend to at least get closer to the Thanksgiving holiday.  I figured it wouldn't be the end of the world if it didn't get out in a reasonable amount of time though so it's all good.

My actual Thanksgiving started off with a nice half day at work last Wednesday.  Another great thing about that place is we get paid to get "early outs" on the days before major holidays.  I was able to spend my early time off picking up the Dark Knight from the shop.  It wasn't all the way completed, but was done enough to be ready for the holiday trip.  I tried not to let it bother me that it had been there for over a week and wasn't yet finished.

Thanksgiving day and dinner was spent in Ames.  That's what the picture you see here is.  It had been a LONG time since I've had some scalloped potatoes and was able to get my wish for Thanksgiving dinner.  Outside of Popeye's cajun mashed potatoes and gravy, scalloped potatoes are my favorite type of potatoes.  The only thing that would have made that dinner even better would have been some greens.  Unfortunately, all the stores were out of the collard greens that I prefer.  No biggie though...it was still an amazing dinner.

The plan was to get up early Friday morning and hit the road for Bloomington for the weekend.  When I say early, I'm talking about 4am.  I could have rescheduled the alarm clock on my iPhone for that time as opposed to the weekly 6am time it's normally set for.  I just didn't feel like going thru the hassle of having to switch it back.  Instead, I decided to use this alarm clock app I found at the Apps store.  It would have been a great plan if I would have remembered to have the app activated before I went to bed. 

My natural alarm clock woke me at 5am since I failed to set the iPhone one correctly.  That put me on the road an hour later than what I had planned on.  That one hour ended up making a difference.  By the time we arrived at Mom and Dad's, everyone was up and eating breakfast.  We had just missed out on a fresh batch of Mom's world famous sweet rice.  No worries though.  We were able to get our share of it over the next couple of days.

I had the added surprise of being able to see Mariah during the Thanksgiving holiday.  Mom and Dad had flown her in Wednesday night so she was in Bloomington for the weekend as well.  It always warms my heart to see her smiling face.  Even moreso when it gets to be in the presence of Mom and Dad who rarely get to visit with her as it is.  I still look at her and continue to be in awe about the fact that my little girl is actually a woman.

Our Friday arrival meant we missed out on the big feast from the night before.  Fortunately, there were plenty of leftovers.  Including the chocolate cake that didn't make it thru the night.  My personal favorite though was the cornbread.  It tasted entirely too good and too fresh to be leftovers.  I could have made a meal off just that and still been content.

My favorite moment of the weekend was the ride with Dad to O'Hare Airport to drop off Mariah for her flight back to Kansas City.  Mariah enlightened Dad and I on some of the nuances of "New Moon" that we didn't know since we haven't read the books.  It still didn't make me appreciate the movie anymore, but it was interesting nonetheless.  On the way back, I was able to spend some quality time with Dad talking about any and everything in what seemed like the shortest two hours ever.

The road trip naturally provided more opps which translated into another photo album: Thanksgiving 2009.  Although I was able to capture some good moments, the best one was deleted from the camera.  I caught Teandra in a picture perfect moment after she had just spilled a huge cup of hot chocolate on the counter.  I should have thought to hide the memory card so she couldn't delete it.  I'll know better next time. 

Doing Too Much

YES!  Finally someone made a commercial that says it best.  For all of y'all that like to do it big for Christmas, keep this in mind...